sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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