He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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