So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
