i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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