I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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