Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
