careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
