I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
