I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
