god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
