found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Can I color on your dick again?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
