I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You are the jesus of drinking
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
