dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
