why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
