My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
