On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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