What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
