its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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