u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
