return my video game
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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