dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
