I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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