She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
