I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
