remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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