im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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