Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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