ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
