Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
