That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
