Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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