She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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