Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
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I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
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I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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