Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
