Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
