If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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