Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
