i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
