How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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