If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
