so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
