I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
