remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
