Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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