You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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