I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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