Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
