He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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