i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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