This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
