Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
