I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I want to fling myself into the sun
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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