I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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