mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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