should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
