It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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