Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
