Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
