Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize