I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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