You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
