So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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