He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
