Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Life is so much better after having sex.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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