dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
