do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
