she looked like the before picture.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
