yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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