even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
