dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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