What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
This beer is not sobering me up at all
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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