apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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