Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
are you still at the devil's house?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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