Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
