So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
if i died would you start the facebook group?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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