Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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